'Wasted Youth and a Fistful of Ideals...'

So this entry is not going to be as giddy and happy as the previous. One good thing, however, is that the new Green Day album has comfortably slipped right in with the others, meaning that I absolutely love it. But, I'm not sure if I can continue to find reassurance in these songs without it reminding me of a ridiculous twist of fate.

There is a concert on July 14th. The band is coming to Detroit to play at the Palace of Auburn hills.

And I will not be going.

I figured I would start asking around about it, seeing as how the date is coming up, and all the answers I received were incredulous looks and a flat-out 'No.' You might be thinking, who cares, right? Who decides for you what you can and can't do? Well...unfortunately there is such a thing as living under the same roof with your parents, who therein decide what you can and cannot do. So you see my dilemma. It's times like these when I really hate being an optimistic teenager who sees everything falling into place so she can see her favorite band play on a Tuesday night. Unusually, my parents and I have gotten along fairly well these past couple of years, so for them to not understand this kind of thing really makes me mad. They hear me blasting the new album every other day, put up with me talking about it, not to mention the fact that the DVR is clogged with me recording their gigs on GMA, SNL and a few other spots where they've graced the television screen.

So...I don't understand why they would balk at something like this. The one explanation I've gotten made some sort of sense: that they wouldn't be comfortable with me running around Detroit by myself at 7:30 at night. I can understand that part, but I wouldn't go by myself; I would definitely take a friend with me. I even offered to take my father with me, but that didn't work. Of course.

I understand that they've done a lot for me this past month, what with Graduation and all... which is why I offered to buy the tickets myself. But that didn't work either!!! My last shot was my sister and her fiance, but my mother got to her before I could.

It really feels as though EVERYTHING is conspiring against me, like I'm not meant to see them. It wouldn't be so bad if it didn't' feel as though I was never going to get a chance to see them play again. It really feels that way! After they're done with America, they'll be in Europe for like, a year! And then when they comeback, I'll be in college, have a job, and I wont' get to see them AGAIN.

I admit it sounds stupid to those who can't understand how important this is to me, but....Jeezus. I've been wanting to see this band since I was thirteen. I've missed every chance I've ever gotten to see them, because I was 'too young,' too late, or it was too far away for me to go. So I just don't understand how when the absolutely perfect time comes, it-doesn't-come-to-fruition!!! It makes me feel like this is only the beginning of the next round of disappointments. And not to mention every time I listen to them, now it comes across as bittersweet. It drives me insane. I'm left hoping that I will soon 'grow' out of this phase, because I can't stand the thought of that emotion weighing me down EVERY time I listen to them!! *sigh* Where is that little ray of hope that I keep holding out for?! Did I bring all this stupidity on to myself????

Probably, as is usual.

...I guess I'll just have to keep listening to the live albums, close my eyes and pretend I'm there... At least they can never disappoint me.